Gary who dressed like a middle-aged banker. Dan with the goatee who was into skydiving. We meet Henry who cheated on her when she was a teenager. Most, if not all, the names have been changed. That’s how it started.” The letters evolved into first-person mini-essays where she puts each relationship and herself under the microscope. “I’m going to tell you all the things you did wrong and why you missed out. “I was sort of therapising myself,” says the woman who has done a lot of therapy over the years. The book started out as a series of letters to each of the exes. Each chapter is dedicated to a different ex, some of them serious relationships, others casual dalliances, ranging from a few weeks to several years. Mac Cabe’s debut, This Is Not About You, is an exhaustive, entertaining, eye-opening trawl through her life’s most significant love (and lust) stories. ![]() ![]() ![]() So look away now if you count yourself among one of the writer’s exes. This fascinating titbit does not make it into her new book, a “menmoir” as opposed to a memoir, but it tells you a lot about her dedication to forensic analysis of past romantic and sexual exploits. Rosemary Mac Cabe once had a Facebook folder of her exes on their wedding day, called “Photographs of men, with whom I have slept, at their weddings to other women”.
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